A Complete Yawn Makes Your Eyes Pee

By Atom Bergstrom

Atom’s Blog

Buteyko Method practitioners tend to disparage yawning, one of the greatest stress-busters available to everyone at no cost.

(Wilhelm Reich’s “complete orgasm” is even more effective, but this is a children’s blog.)

Even ants yawn.

Cats don’t practice Buteyko Breathing. Ninety-nine out of a hundred cats prefer to yawn.

A yawn relaxes muscles.

They immediately tighten up at yawn’s end (with rare exceptions).

But if you form a habit of yawning day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, your muscles get looser and looser and looser and looser.

Muscle relaxation works backwards and forwards — nerves relax and bones relax.

Relaxed bones contain more calcium carbonate and less calcium phosphate.

Results are faster using Complete Yawns — “a full yawn with tonic extension of the limbs.”

A Complete Yawn makes your eyes water because carbon dioxide is a refrigerant (like dry ice).

Food removed from a freezer “sweats” — condensation occurs.

Teardrops defrost nerves, muscles, and bones.

According to “Cats” (a book based on the Wikipedia article “Cat”) …

“Yawning in front of their companion and blinking behavior is common in cats and may be a sign of trust or affection. Some cats will respond to a human who dramatically yawns or closes or opens their eyes by reciprocating the action.”

'A Complete Yawn Makes Your Eyes Pee' have 12 comments

  1. September 24, 2015 @ 5:41 pm Atom

    “Many studies over the last 30 years have shown caffeine to be highly protective against all kinds of carcinogenesis, including estrogen’s carcinogenic effects on the breast. Caffeine is now being used along with some of the standard cancer treatments, to improve their effects or to reduce their side effects. There are substances in the coffee berry besides caffeine that protect against mutations and cancer, and that have shown strong therapeutic effects against cancer. Although many plant substances are protective against mutations and cancer, I don’t know of any that is as free of side effects as coffee.” — Ray Peat


  2. September 24, 2015 @ 5:42 pm Atom

    Many students, especially those who are poor, intuitively know what the schools do for them. They school them to confuse process and substance. Once these become blurred, a new logic is assumed: the more treatment there is, the better are the results; or, escalation leads to success. The pupil is thereby ‘schooled’ to confuse teaching with learning, grade advancement with education, a diploma with competence, and fluency with the ability to say something new. His imagination is ‘schooled’ to accept service in place of value. Medical treatment is mistaken for health care, social work for the improvement of community life, police protection for safety, military poise for national security, the rat race for productive work. Health, learning, dignity, independence, and creative endeavor are defined as little more than the performance of the institutions which claim to serve these ends, and their improvement is made to depend on allocating more resources to the management of hospitals, schools, and other agencies in question.” — Ivan Illich


  3. September 24, 2015 @ 5:43 pm Atom

    “The extreme wealth of American big business is the direct result of school having trained us in certain attitudes like a craving for novelty. That’s what the bells are for. They don’t ring so much as to say, ‘Now for something different.'” — John Taylor Gatto


  4. September 24, 2015 @ 5:44 pm Atom

    “They are still wrestling with the problems of recycling plastic bottles, and the simple answer is, they can’t. So when you toss a plastic bottle or box in the recycle bin, it may turn into a park bench or a deck plank, but it will not contribute material to the manufacture of another bottle. Too expensive. Gotta drill for oil to keep those bottles coming. Hence, Iraq, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia…But doesn’t it feel good to recycle that bottle?” — Douglas Gillies


  5. September 25, 2015 @ 6:32 am Chris

    A Sexy side effect of almonds is in the top ten blogs of all time and i love this one too, Atom. Please, the next time you’re with Patrick, indulge us with more stories of your ‘schooling’. For example: “The day in the life of Adano Ley” OR “The day in the life of ___ (someone at the TIRS)


    • September 25, 2015 @ 4:40 pm Atom

      Thanks, Chris !!!!! :)

      Here’s a story from TIRS in advance …

      Adano contradicted most of what I learned at an Applied Kinesiology (AK) workshop in Houston.

      He scoffed that the AK instructors didn’t even understand the rudiments of kinesiological principles.

      He said kinesiology, or “intramuscular compression,” was just a new word for the siddhis.

      Adano insisted it would have been easy to switch the polarity of EVERYONE in the classroom, thus reversing and invalidating every other muscle test performed.

      “You can do that?” I gulped. “How?”

      He wouldn’t tell me, even though I tried to pry it out of him a second time.

      And, actually, he had already reversed the polarity of a group of us at Swami Nitty-Gritty’s Karma Klinic, and I had entirely misinterpreted the situation.

      It occurred while J.L. Patterson was testing several of us with electronic instrumentation during a severe thunderstorm.

      Adano maintained an ordinary sundial seashell “has 25 percent more kinesiological energy” than one of Pat Flanagan’s energy sensors.

      So one of us balanced a sundial shell on their forehead, and J.L. identified a qualitative difference in the electrical field.

      As J.L. packed his instrumentation, Alicia Dobbins asked if craning one’s neck to balance the shell had affected the outcome.

      Was J.L. reading the sundial shell’s effect or merely the body’s positional variance relevant to gravity?

      Maybe the position was close enough to the traditional yoga posture, and IT was producing the electromagnetic effect.

      J.L. unpacked his gear to retest, and Adano gave me an exaggerated and conspiratorial wink, nodding his head in the direction of J.L.

      He repeated this comical gesture several times, urging me to pay attention.

      To J.L.’s major annoyance, EVERYONE’S polarity was reversed before he even retested for either the sundial shell or the yoga-like posture.

      A bewildered J.L. assumed his meter was malfunctioning, hastily packed everything up, and, with a hurried goodbye, rushed out into the pouring rain to analyze his instrument at his lab.

      Silence reigned supreme for at least a full minute after J.L.’s departure. We sat and listened to the crash and boom of the raging storm.

      Then Adano quietly announced, in that quiet and deep just-emerging-from-fathomless-meditation voice of his, “It is exceedingly easy to manipulate kinesiological energy during a thunderstorm.”

      I wrongly concluded Adano had kinesiologically messed with J.L.s electronic circuitry, till years later it finally dawned on me that he had actually manipulated the entire room’s energy field, reversing all of our polarities.

      The meter had indeed been accurate.

      When I asked Adano if this was so, he nudged me and conceded, “Now you’re getting smart.”


  6. September 25, 2015 @ 6:38 am Chris

    Like, If you studied anything related to martial arts at the school. When your on the radio next, please share a story of your growth.


    • September 25, 2015 @ 4:42 pm Atom

      “Adano,” how can I gain weight?” I asked while stretched out on the Swami’s therapy table.

      “I already told you,” he remonstrated. “Don’t gain weight. Gain ENERGY. Study the martial arts.”


  7. September 27, 2015 @ 8:59 pm John

    Hi Atom,
    have you ever had a slightly loose lower left bicuspid tooth (otherwise it is normal and healthy, no work ever done on it)? Any suggestions ?
    Also, what is a good therapy for the gums (I blot already) ?


    • September 28, 2015 @ 2:19 pm Atom

      Work the teeth reflexes on the palms of the hands (where the palms joins the fingers. The incisors are under the index fingers and the wisdom teeth are under the pinkies.

      Minor teeth reflexes exist on the ears and feet too, but the palms are most effective.

      Oil pulling with coconut oil helps the gums.


  8. September 28, 2015 @ 9:28 am John

    Hi Atom,
    any suggestions for a slightly loose tooth (lower left bicuspid, moves from side to side) ?
    What is good therapy for the gums (I blot already) ?


    • September 28, 2015 @ 2:22 pm Atom

      Lemon juice in the mouth kills acid-forming bacteria. Either one can erode teeth, but the second erodes them more.

      Aloe pulling promotes gum health.

      Many dental problems are constipation in disguise!


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