Death By Celery




By Atom Bergstrom

Atom’s Blog

Celery (Apium graveolens) is a marshland plant.

The green part of the celery plant (including the leaves) is a Growth Zone 2 food, best eaten at midday.

The white part is a Growth Zone 3 food, best eaten in the evening.


Celery balances out sulfur-containing foods, such as …

cauliflower at midday

garlic at night


Here’s another “Letter to the Editor” I sent to a local newspaper …


Dear Editor …

The medical name for “Death by Celery” is “celery-dependent exercise-induced anaphylaxis.”

A single stalk is enough to do the deed.

The good news is you have to be moving right after chomping down on that celery stalk — “walking, jogging, running, aerobics, dancing, swimming, cycling, horse riding, tennis, basketball, soccer, skiing, raking leaves,” according to clinicians.

Not to worry. Hundreds may have died from “celery-dependent EIA.” but that’s out of many millions of celery eaters.

Apiole oleoresin in celery can cause liver and kidney damage, and celery was once eaten in quantity during the Middle Ages for abortion.

Folks have merely touched celery high in apiole, and broken out in either “classic or variant cholinergic urticaria” (bile-related hives, in plain English).

Hey, you can’t make this stuff up.

Anything can cause anything, and anything can cure anything.

By the way, let’s not get hung up on those calorie numbers “experts” calculate.

Human beings are not steam engines burning wood. We have “emergent properties” that transcend all quanta and quarks.

How can you explain characters like “Mr. Eats All” (Michel Lotito), who, over a lifetime, ate and digested bicycles (18), shopping carts (15), televisions (7), chandeliers (6), beds (2), a coffin, and an entire Cessna 150 aircraft?

Instead of counting calories, one might question why a whale or giant sea turtle, no matter how much they eat in captivity, never achieve the weight they do in the open ocean.

Atom Bergstrom


Here’s something I didn’t include in my “Letter to the Editor” …

Thanks to the 44th Vice President of the United States, supermarket celery is not the same as it was before 1991.

'Death By Celery' have 5 comments

  1. November 3, 2018 @ 3:45 pm Atom

    Re: Are there any exceptions to male on the left and female on the right?

    I believe in the Law of the Exception to the Rule, but, for the past 42 years, I have yet to find a single exception to the rule when using Body Dowsing’s CORNERSTONE TECHNIQUE.

    But I haven’t given up looking.

    I’ve worked with (1) men, women, and transsexuals; with (2) left- and right-handed people; with (3) people living south of the equator; and with (4) people with reversed organs (situs inversus), and I’m still searching for a single exception to the rule.–consultation.php


  2. November 9, 2018 @ 10:03 pm Sean

    fyi: Michel Lotito
    Born Mikael
    June 15, 1950
    Grenoble, France
    Died June 25, 2007 (aged 57)
    Grenoble, France
    Resting place Saint Roch Cemetery, Grenoble
    Nationality French
    Other names Monsieur Mangetout
    Occupation Entertainer
    Known for Eating unusual objects

    A Cessna 150, one of the more famous items Lotito ate over his lifetime.
    Michel Lotito (French pronunciation: ​[miʃɛl lɔtito]; June 15, 1950 – June 25, 2007[1]) was a French entertainer, born in Grenoble, famous for deliberately consuming indigestible objects. He came to be known as Monsieur Mangetout (“Mr. Eat-All”).[2]
    His performances involved the consumption of metal, glass, rubber and other materials. He disassembled, cut up, and consumed bicycles, shopping carts, televisions, and a Cessna 150,[3] among other items. The Cessna 150 took roughly two years to be “eaten”, from 1978 to 1980. He began eating unusual material as a teenager, at around 16 years of age,[4] and performed publicly beginning in 1966.[citation needed] Lotito had an eating disorder known as pica. Doctors determined that Lotito also had a thick lining in his stomach and intestines which allowed his consumption of sharp metal without suffering injury.[5]
    Lotito claimed not to suffer ill effects from his consumption of substances typically considered poisonous. When performing, he ingested approximately 1 kilogram (2.2 lb) of material daily, preceding it with mineral oil and drinking considerable quantities of water during the meal.[6] He said, however, that bananas and hard-boiled eggs made him sick. It is estimated that between 1959 and 1997, Lotito “had eaten nearly nine tons of metal.”[7]
    Lotito’s method for eating all of this metal was to break it into small pieces before attempting to eat it. He then drank mineral oil and continued to drink water while swallowing the metal bits. This acted as a lubricant to help the metal slide down his throat. He also had no problem “passing” his unusual diet.[8][9]
    He was awarded a brass plaque by the Guinness Book to commemorate his abilities. He consumed it as well.[4]
    Lotito died of natural causes on June 25, 2007, ten days after his 57th birthday.[10] He is buried at Saint Roch Cemetery in Grenoble, his hometown.


    • November 12, 2018 @ 4:54 pm Atom

      Thanks, Sean! Mr. Eats-All definitely didn’t suffer from a mineral deficiency!


  3. November 10, 2018 @ 8:02 pm Lynn McGaha

    I’ll bite. Why is the 44th Vice President of the US, Dan Quayle, responsible for changing the celery sold in groceries stores since 1991?


    • November 12, 2018 @ 5:03 pm Atom

      When Vice President Quayle wasn’t busy making grammatical mistakes, he was busy being a conduit between GMO agricultural barons and government bureaucrats.


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